But today God revealed to me that it's not like that.
It's more like I am swimming in an ocean, continually struggling while He continually reaches out His hand. It is always there for me to grab, but rarely do I. There are times when I've felt Him holding me above the water for periods of time, but more so in my life I feel myself struggling against the current reaching for things much easier to grab, things that are not rooted, that satisfy quickly but let down right after. Instead of seeking and reaching the hand often I'll just talk about the hand, or read things that talk about the hand (Christian books and stuff), or think about the hand and all its complications beyond my comprehension, while the one thing that will help is just grabbing the hand.
It has been a long time frustration with myself that I seek knowledge of God before I seek relationship with God. My "reading about the hand" as opposed feeling the hand itself, reading my bible, taking intention quiet time, stuff like that.
mewithoutYou said it best, "We have our beliefs but we dont want our beliefs, God of Love, we want you."
I'm going to bed now.
2 comments:
Keith
I love the way you put this. right on! I can totally relate. thanks for sharing your heart.
much love :)
yes.
There is a huge difference between talking and doing. and so often we think we're doing, when we're actually just talking. and honestly, most christians think christianity involves little doing. but the active pursuit of the Lord is powerful and key to making that cat and mouse chase become less of an obstacle. We hear so much that "God loves us, God loves us"...but sometimes I think it spoils us into being passive. It's true, he does love us. But if we love him too, we'll turn that into a diehard pursuit of his heart. I think He loves that.
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